On Yankee Puppets and Elected Monarchs
In the fever dream of American history, John Lukacs skewers the presidency as an “elective monarchy”— a crown slapped onto a publicity puppet, where democracy devolves into a garish beauty pageant of polls and photo ops. Picture Wilson hiding his stroke like a bad haircut, or FDR airbrushing his wheelchair; it's all smoke and mirrors, bloating bureaucracy while voters doze off.
Now, swivel to the Philippines, that tropical circus of elective emperors. Enter Marcos Jr., “Bongbong,” who in 2022 TikToked his way to Malacañang on a wave of revisionist memes and dynastic nostalgia. Publicity? Pure gold. Estrada, the action star president, got impeached mid-scene in 2001, proving actors make lousy monarchs.
Cue Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, the shrewd economist who slithered into the throne via EDSA II's sequel uprising, only to star in her own scandal-soaked saga. Remember “Hello Garci”? That 2004 wiretap fiasco where she allegedly rigged votes like a reality TV producer editing out the flops, surviving impeachment attempts through bureaucratic acrobatics and elite backroom deals. By 2025, she's still lurking as Pampanga's congresswoman, championing “inclusive innovation” at forums while dodging the ghosts of corruption charges—pure elective monarchy, where publicity polishes the tarnish and dynasties endure.
Then there's Duterte, the foul-mouthed vigilante who turned governance into a blood-soaked reality show, polls spiking with every extrajudicial quip. His populist schtick? A masterclass in hypermasculine bluster—cursing out Obama, the Pope, and anyone in earshot, while boasting of bedroom conquests and Hitler-level drug purges to seem like the everyman's avenger. From Davao's gritty streets, he railed against “imperial Manila” elites, promising freebies for farmers and tax tweaks for the downtrodden, all while selectively sparing crony oligarchs.
But oh, the gap between growl and grind: his “penal populism” masked a selective slaughter, drawing cheers from frustrated masses across classes, who saw him as the unpolished hammer smashing liberal democracy's fragile vase. Misogynistic zingers? Just “authenticity.” Human rights horrors? Collateral for “security.”
Fast-forward to November 2025, and the plot twists harder—the vigilante’s now ICC’s star detainee in a Dutch dungeon, slapped with crimes-against-humanity charges for that drug war bloodbath. Appeals for release? Denied flat on November 28, judges unmoved by his octogenarian pleas, keeping him caged like a rogue tiger in The Hague while his team plots another medical-exam hail mary. Yet, his image endures, martyr-like, with fans framing it as colonial payback, his jingoistic echoes influencing successors amid feuds over seas and scandals.
Critics decry the bureaucratic rot he entrenched, eroding norms into vigilante vibes, but in this circus, the strongman's legend spikes harder than ever—populism’s undead king, chuckling from chains. Enter Sara Duterte, the VP heir apparent, dodging impeachment bullets like a pro wrestler in a rigged ring. House impeached her in February 2025 over fund misuse and wild assassination threats against Bongbong and crew, but the Supreme Court voided it in July as unconstitutional—though that House reconsideration lingers like bad adobo.
By November, she's globe-trotting to rally overseas fans post-dad's arrest, regretting her Marcos alliance, and teasing a 2028 presidential run while polls crown her front-runner. Populist princess with a punch—reclaiming “Inday” from house-help slur to power moniker, her dad's bluster in heels, turning rifts into ratings.
Both nations outgrew democracy into bureaucratic farces: U.S. presidents as global celebs, Filipinos electing heirs, hams, hustlers, and handcuffed antiheroes. Arroyo pivots technocratic sleight-of-hand, Duterte embodies the raw, rage-fueled flash, Sara sustains the dynasty drama, inflating egos amid eroding trust. Yet, amid the inflation of egos and words, one wonders—might we impulse-book a flight to sanity via absurdity? Lukacs would chuckle bitterly, toasting the shared circus.